Arsenal end season in same disgraceful way they started it

 

What a finale to the Premier League season; true excitement as Man City pip Man Utd to the title on the last day, in the last minute.

A title has not been nicked in such wafer thin fashion since Mickey Thomas scored with just a few minutes to play as Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0 at Anfield in 1989. The only difference being that Man City’s task was relatively simple compared to Arsenal having to beat Liverpool at Anfield, which was, at the time, as rare as an acceptable mullet.

Ex-Gunners Samir Nasri and Gael Clichy will no doubt be basking in the glory of their winners’ medals, which fully justify their decision to leave unambitious Arsenal - who have been rotten all season long. 

Overall, I’d say it’s been Wenger’s worst season at the club as Arsenal suffered their worst start for over 50 years, heaviest defeat for over 100 years in the excruciating 8-2 mauling at Old Trafford, failed to get past the knockout round of the Champions League and the 5th round of the FA Cup.

The Gunners also conceded 49 goals domestically, the most goals conceded by any Arsenal side in a campaign for over 30 years.

Spurs snatched fourth place, and might have leapfrogged Arsenal on the last day were it not for a horrendous performance from West Brom goalkeeper Martin Fulop in Arsenal’s 3-2 defeat of WBA, where he practically handed Arsenal all three goals.

People talk about referees being bent, but Fulop’s performance was so bad it should be investigated by Scotland Yard.

Still, Arsenal made third and they deserve it; I always believe that you deserve to be wherever you end up after 38 games. Unfortunately, however, contrary to Wenger folklore, there are no prizes for finishing third.

All eyes now turn to Robin Van Persie for whom I believe Arsenal’s desperate scramble for Champions League qualification will do little to convince the Dutchman to stay at the club.

Taking part in the Champions League means nothing if you have no chance of winning it, and Van Persie knows that.

Apparently, RVP will sit down with the club next week to thrash out his future. RVP’s next contract will be his last and most important as the player is now at his peak. He’s nearly 29 and has won, or competed for, very little whilst at the club. Time is no longer on his side, and that could make all the difference.

I anticipate that Man City will make a major move for Van Persie and I believe there’s a good chance that he will take it.

Arsene Wenger saved his most laughable comments of the season for the last day when he said: “I’m very proud of this season because we were not only tested on the football front - which as a club we are used to - but on our mental solidity, unity and solidarity within.

"We were deeply tested, we did not show any weakness, kept united and in the end came back. It is a good lesson for everybody.”

The master of spin talking out of his backside.

Yes, Arsenal started the season horribly (his fault) with 3 wins, 1 draw, and 4 defeats from the opening 8 games, but the last 8 games of the season was almost as bad with only 3 wins 3 draws and 2 defeats to show for it.

In fact, Arsenal’s second half of the season was worse than the first, as Arsenal amassed 36 points in the 19 games up to January and only 34 points thereafter.

Wenger can try to polish this dog turd of a season in whichever way he chooses, but the facts are inescapable, the squad is not getting better, neither are the performances, the defending is getting worse and the club is not heading in the right direction. Wenger has not shown he has learned anything whatsoever from past mistakes, is getting old, getting stale, getting embarrassing and remains stubbornly entrenched in his own little fantasy world.

It’s been a strange season for me, as I have not blogged nearly as much this season as previously. Something snapped inside of me after Arsenal’s predictably bad start, of which all the blame can be apportioned to Wenger’s hopeless dithering in the transfer market, which eventually resulted in a desperate bout of panic purchasing.

At that point I had what some might call an epiphany. I gave up all hope and realised comprehensively that Arsenal is a dead club with a dead manager at the helm, a boardroom full of clueless Wenger sycophants and an owner whose about as much use as a chocolate dildo.

The result of this self-realisation was that I felt no joy when Arsenal won and a sense of well-being when they drew or lost - in the eventual hope that Wenger would slam the nails into his own coffin. All I want now is change. I’m tired of looking at him, tired of listening to him and tired of watching this piss poor Arsenal side which is utterly mediocre and entirely reliant on the performances of one player.

And so now the summer transfer speculation begins, Podolski will join, and I predict Van Persie will leave and be replaced by Kalou on a free from Chelsea.

Finally, in anticipation of his likely departure, I would like to say thanks and good luck to Van Persie, thanks to Pat Rice for his magnificent 44 year tenure at the club, and thanks to all the Gooners that have read my blog throughout the season and contributed to the site.

Have a great summer; I’ll see you when I see you.

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VP needs Man C and Man C needs VP

 

Van Persie should go to Man City, they will want him and they will compete for trophies for years to come, trophies that Van Persie needs to have in his locker room. Every player wants to look back on their career and remember the good times, the big finals, the trophies. Especially players of Van Persie’s talent – it would be unforgiveable to let that go to waste.

Watching Man City and Chelsea – and even Liverpool - play in finals and compete for trophies will make VP jealous. Watching Barcelona and Real Madrid will make him dream – he can accomplish a lot more than he has at (almost) 29.

Although VP’s family is settled and happy in London, moving up North would not be as big a change for the kids as Spain, and Man City can give VP the ultimate pay day. Moving to City would not be as stigmatising as moving to another London club or Man Utd.

Mancini would be mad to keep Balotelli at Eastlands and Tevez will surely leave, so they will need a replacement of the highest quality and VP ticks every box. I expect City to make a major play for VP in the summer.

What will VP accomplish at Arsenal? Nothing. You know it, I know it.

VP is not stupid – he knows it.

For as long as Wenger is in charge at Arsenal, VP will win nothing and worse than that, compete for nothing. Another end-of-season collapse will only serve as a reminder to the Dutchman that Wenger is incapable of helping him to fulfil his potential. By that I mean rewarding him with the success that his talent deserves.

How many more times do I have to say it. Wenger cannot motivate, Wenger cannot motivate, Wenger cannot motivate.

Watch Norwich’s second goal here: http://www.101greatgoals.com/gvideos/grant-holt-norwich-2-1-v-arsenal/

Watch the Arsenal midfield ambling back to “help” the defence. All of those players should be sprinting top speed – but they don’t care. Wenger has created that environment. It’s not the players’ fault that they’re lazy bastards, it’s his fault.

Where was Vermaelen?

Vermaelen is turning into a dud. Ignorant football fans love Vermaelen, but if he didn’t score goals for Arsenal they’d all realise he’s a pretty average defender.

Szczesny is starting to show his immaturity. He's had a good season, but the cracks in his persona are starting to leak into his football, which was always a possibility.

Have Arsenal blown their chances of Champions League football? Not yet. Newcastle have two very tough games at home to Man City and away to Everton. Spurs have much easier games, away to Villa and at home to Fulham, but they’re as unreliable as Arsenal.

Chelsea are still in with a shout, but they have to beat Liverpool at Anfield to stand any chance – and that will be tough having just smoked them in the FA Cup Final.

So, if Arsenal beat West Brom in their final game of the season they will probably make top four – and will be safe unless Chelsea pull off another shock in the Champions League Final against Bayern Munich.

But can Arsenal beat West Brom? They’re falling apart because, like their manager, they’re mentally weak.

Arsenal have now let in 47 goals this season!

This time, a dodgy lasagne in the Spurs canteen might not be able to save Arsenal from themselves. 

Finally, we should say thanks to Pat Rice for being a loyal and magnificent servant to Arsenal. Yesterday was his final home game at the club. 

I know I have often referred to him as Wenger’s gopher, but that is more a criticism of Wenger than a criticism of Pat. A club like Arsenal needs someone like Pat around the place - Arsenal through and through.

But sitting on the bench next to Wenger yesterday, sprayed by water again following a fit of anger by the hapless Frenchman – the look on his face pretty much said it all. He’s leaving at just the right time - it's a sinking ship. Without VP, Arsenal could go down like the Titanic.

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Once a great manager, now a sorry clown

 

Everyone’s making fun of Wenger. As Arsenal stumble over the Champions League qualifying line like a drunk man looking for his keys, I had to laugh at the images of Arsene Wenger being made a fool out of by the Stoke fans on MOTD.

If you didn’t see it, towards the end of the game Wenger went completely berserk by the touchline and thousands of Stoke fans stood behind him mimicking his every move. It was hilarious, and something that could catch on at other clubs.

Yes, I know the Stoke supporters were a disgrace for chanting obscenities at Aaron Ramsey, but they surely wouldn’t have bothered had the Arsenal away end dropped their abusive fixation with Ryan Shawcross.

It was over two years ago that Shawcross broke Ramsey’s leg with a horrendous late tackle - and I was as angry as anyone at the time, but for the sake of the young Welshman the incident should now be put to bed. It’s not as if the Arsenal fans were raking up the ashes because they’re on some moral crusade or other, they simply do it because they like being abusive in public to someone they don’t like. After all, most of them spend every week moaning at Ramsey because of his sub-par performances.

The match was a draw – Arsenal have now only won 2 in 6. Post-match, Wenger moaned about a penalty not being given and whatever else he could find to detract from another underwhelming result. He also wants action to be taken over the Stoke City supporters’ “French twat” chants. A tad hypocritical considering he lied about the fact that he threw a volley of expletives at a referee after a Champions League game, hence dropping his appeal against another UEFA ban for unacceptable behaviour – his third in one year.

It seems that Wenger wants respect, but what respect does he show to the game? Two weeks ago he refused to shake Roberto Martinez’s hand because relegation battlers Wigan time-wasted a little bit at the Emirates.

Anyone with a rational mind must surely see by now that Wenger is a tragic parody of his former self. When he first joined Arsenal he was controlled, lucid, decorous … even humorous at times, now he’s just a witless and incompetent bad loser.

His shameful touchline antics increase in their inanity and severity every year – whether it’s refusing to shake managers by the hand, arguing with them on the touchline, continually shouting at the fourth official, throwing hissy fits on the bench, or making idiotic post-match excuses, he’s becoming an absolute embarrassment to the club.

I reckon if the Wenger of 1995 took a good look at himself now, he’d be in despair.

His antics brought me around to remembering my greatest ever moment as an Arsenal supporter, and every Arsenal supporter that was alive at the time will probably tell you the same - 26th May 1989, Liverpool 0 Arsenal 2.

When Michael Thomas flicked his shot past Bruce Grobbelaar to claim the title in those dying moments, my reaction was akin to a frothing, rabid dog. But George Graham’s response was entirely different. As the bench went into manic celebration, he realised the occasion and tried to calm down his coaching staff. I always remember thinking how wonderful and respectful that was, what sheer class he had.

Here was a man, in the heat of the most extraordinary atmosphere of tension, relief, pride and joy – in what was perhaps the most incredible finale to a football season ever, still able to control himself and reflect the values of the great club that employed him, Arsenal Football Club.

These days, Wenger drags those values through the mud on an almost weekly basis, and if the board had any guts or respect for the institution that is Arsenal, they would pull him to one side and order him to control himself.

At last years AGM, Gazidis said: "I am proud that we have a manager who thinks and acts with responsibility and vision… (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I stand in awe of people like Ken Friar and Danny Fiszman, who have built the modern Arsenal with unmatched vision, commitment and responsibility – qualities that are in short supply in the modern world but which are more important than ever. These men reflect the Club’s strength, its independence of spirit and its values - unity, class and always moving forward.  A football club is about far more than football.”

Evidently, these are nothing more than empty words. How can Gazidis pretend to reflect such values whilst continually turning a blind eye to Wenger's lunatic touchline behaviour and abusive disrespect towards match officials and fellow managers on an almost weekly basis?

Oh how I wish Arsenal would sack Wenger tomorrow. Kick him out and replace him with someone like Pep Guardiola – a man that I know would behave with the appropriate class and demeanour suited to a great club like ours.

After that Champions League semi-final, when Drogba spent a combined 6 minutes of the football match rolling around on the turf – in what was the worst case of cheating and play acting I’ve probably ever seen, there was not a peep of complaint from Guardiola. When Barca got knocked out, he did not point to the bad luck they had obviously endured, the time wasting, the pitch, the fans, the officials – he just took it on the chin, fair and square. He didn't scream at the 4th official, tell the ref to fuck off in the tunnel or refuse to shake Di Matteo's hand. He did not invent a litany of excuses at the press conference to mask his team's performance. He even admitted his tactics may have been one-dimensional.

My god, what a breath of fresh air he is compared to the sorry clown Wenger has become. 

It will be fascinating to see how Barcelona fares without Guardiola, and I’d love to see him at Arsenal. He’s twice the man and twice the manager that Wenger is, and in a year’s time - after Wenger’s naused up a ninth season – I reckon he might like to end his impending sabbatical by taking up a job in London.

Please Arsenal, if the opportunity presents itself, don’t let it pass us by.

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Premier League sucks, and so do Arsenal

 

Tried to watch the Arsenal v Chelsea game on Saturday but it was so boring I was forced to adapt the viewing window into a small frame so I could play Flash Pacman at the same time.

Here, give it a try:

It hurts to say it, but Arsenal are shit – and proved it again on Saturday against Chelsea reserves. The 0-0 saga was a total borefest and another poor excuse for a football match. After a load of wins, some of them lucky, Arsenal have collapsed yet again.

The Premier League is in a terrible state, but as the season reaches its conclusion it’s awfully nice of Man Utd to throw away all their hard work to allow Man City another a shot at the title and keep the race alive.

It’s certainly the weakest Premier League I have ever seen.

Liverpool and Chelsea have been atrocious this season. Liverpool have won 5 home games this season, 5!!!!!

As a club, Chelsea have emphysema and are puffing away on their last few packets of fags. Abramovic put into practice a plan to phase out the old and bring in the new, but Drogba, Lampard and Terry weren't having it, so they stopped playing football and got AVB the sack.

Roberto Di Matteo is their bitch.

Tottenham simply couldn’t hack it near the top and have completely collapsed. Harry Redknapp took his eye off the ball with his court games and hankering after the England job, which we all know he wants.

Wenger is the luckiest manager in Europe. Without Van Persie Arsenal would be 10th and all those teams that would normally push Arsenal all the way for a Champions League spot are falling apart at the seams.

On Saturday, Wenger got a close look at his next possible signing, Salomon Kalou. Available on a free transfer this summer, the player reeks of Wenger; a flashy, technique-based lightweight with no end product that trundles around like Kanu on Valium.

Van Persie won the PFA Player of the Year Award last night – well done to him. He’s now standing in the shop window covered in glitter and waiting for a buyer. If he’s got any sense he’ll leave, but the fact he’s settled with his wife and kids in London might be enough for him to sacrifice his ambitions.

Right now, VP is suffering from fatigue, as was bound to happen. Wenger has abused him, just like he abused Fabregas and Henry – and Wilshere. Because the French lunatic thinks he’s right all the time and refuses to accept logic, he never builds a squad strong enough to compete and ends up becoming over reliant on individuals until they’re burned out. 

Next year, he’ll probably try to play Wilshere in every game again until his injury reprises and becomes terminal.

Song is getting burnt out too. A tired player makes sloppy passes and mistakes that could be critical going into the last 10 minutes of a game. Any normal manager would spot that and make an immediate substitution, but Wenger can’t as he only has one DM at the club.

That's how ridiculous things have got – but there’s more to come.

Theo Walcott pulled his hamstring midway through the second half against Chelsea and was lying on the ground prostrate. Then he limped off like a spanked cat, got back up and said, “I think I’m OK” only to run back on and make his injury twice as bad.

Any normal manager would have immediately substituted Walcott, but Wenger is abnormal.

Abou Diaby has been injured for god knows how long, and every time he comes back he gets injured again. So what does Wenger do following Diaby’s latest injury? He gives him 45 minutes in the reserves and throws him straight back into the first team.

Wenger’s treatment of Diaby is tantamount to manslaughter.

Wenger said yesterday that he wants Chelsea to do well and win the Champions League. But if Chelsea wins the Champions League and Arsenal come fourth Arsenal will be out of the Champions League by default. What sort of nut says what Wenger says?

I don’t want Chelsea to win the Champions League simply because they’re Chelsea, yet Wenger wants them to win it even though it might knock Arsenal out of the Champions League???

Arsenal have three games to go, against a bunch of mid-table clubs with nothing to play for – but anything could happen in those games because Arsenal are unreliable and mediocre.

Newcastle could finish third, that’s how bad this league is.

How can Arsenal get out of the mess they’re in when so many supporters are so easily mugged off and refuse to stare reality in the face?

Who will score all, or any, of Arsenal’s goals if Van Persie goes? Arsenal will be like Liverpool, but worse – Liverpool can still defend.

Wenger is roller skating on the edge of a cliff. He won’t buy anyone than can do what VP does, and it would absurd to place that burden of expectation on a player like Podolski – who has already failed to step up to the plate at a big club; Bayern Munich.

Still, I’m not depressed about the situation, because I accept it. I fully accept that Arsenal will be, and is, a zombie club. Until the fans wake up and kick out Wenger and Gazidis and demand something from Kroenke, nothing will change.

I’ve watched Wenger’s self-serving, egotistical cock ups for too long and I’ve managed to wean myself off him and suspend my support for the club. When Arsenal win I feel nothing, and when they lose I feel happy. Defeat is the only thing that will bring about change at this club, victory only prolongs the agony of those supportes too frightened to imagine life without their nutty professor.

What other people think and do is up to them, I can only play my small part in Wenger's departure by being destructive and delivering my peculiar brand of online therapy.

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Wenger’s lamentable excuses/Fabregas dig

I thought Arsenal would beat Wigan. Roberto Martinez’ side did well to beat Man Utd recently, although some of the decisions that went against Utd in that game were ridiculous.

Arsenal can have no such complaints.

Yet again, Wenger could not help but make up a dumb excuse for his side’s limp wristed performance, this time heaping blame on Wigan goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi’s supposed time-wasting antics.

But Arsenal were 2-0 down in 8 minutes, and had pulled one back with 70 minutes + stoppage time still to play so the real time wasters were Arsenal. 

Wenger’s excuse was a diversionary tactic. Post-defeat, he makes outrageous statements in the expectation that the media will analyse those rather than the performance of his mediocre team - and they usually fall for it.

As I keep saying (and keep being proved right, again and again), Wenger is unable to motivate his players, so they keep falling asleep at the wheel. To go into a match accepting you’re going to win is lethal and Arsenal do it repeatedly. Obviously, Wenger is unable to drill into the heads of the players the importance of not being complacent. I’d love to know what he says to them pre-match, but evidently it’s never very inspiring.

Tactically, Wenger remains pitiful. By his own admission, when Arteta went off injured Arsenal did not get organised quickly enough and conceded again. This is what happens when you have zero leaders on the pitch, tactics are not indoctrinated into the players and small details are omitted in training.

As paying attention to the small details is beneath Wenger, Arsenal continually leak goals. They have now conceded 43 in the Premier League, worse than almost any other side in the top 10, only one less than Swansea (12th), two less than Stoke (14th) and five less than relegation candidates Aston Villa (15th).

Ask yourself, where would Arsenal be without Robin Van Persie’s goals? What if he had not had stayed fit? An embarrassment.

For months Arsenal fans decried the unavailability of Thomas Vermaelen, but his return has made no difference - Arsenal still keep leaking goals. When Vermaelen was out, fans blamed Arsenal’s poor defending on his unavailability, now Mertesacker is out apparently we miss him, and when Koscielny is out we miss him.

Football fans can sometimes be unbelievably stupid - continually blaming someone or something rather than look at the root cause of their team’s failures. The majority of Arsenal supporters are as deluded as Wenger; they choose to deny reality as a way to avoid the uncomfortable truth. Like flies, they're all repeatedly banging their head against a window.

Cesc Fagrebas shed some light on Wenger’s feeble tactics during a pre-Champions League interview this week: “I’ve learned a lot tactically [at Barcelona], as a team I know my position much more on the pitch. Tactically [at Arsenal] I was not good at all. I was playing wherever I wanted and here I have to work much more for the team individually, to be more in my position and cannot just go wherever I want. I have to think more about the team tactically.”

It’s not the first time Fabregas has had a dig at Wenger. Guardiola must be like a breath of fresh air to the young Spaniard.

If Wenger managed Barcelona they would be out of the Primera Liga race. Off the ball they would be hopeless, and they would lose games they would be expected to win at a canter. He would be sacked in one season.

Chelsea play Barcelona in the first leg of the Champions League Semi-Final tonight and Arsenal need Chelsea to stay in the tie. If they do, Roberto Di Matteo might rest players when Arsenal play the Blues at the Emirates on Saturday, and even if he doesn’t they will be heavily distracted ahead of the 2nd leg a few days later.

However, if Chelsea are annihilated tonight they will have no choice but to fully focus on Arsenal and play their strongest line up to get into the top four.

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