How much would you pay to see Arsene Wenger lose a game? £50? £20? £5?
A lot of Arsenal fans want Wenger to lose every game now. They think it’s for the greater good and want the lunatic to get his comeuppance.
Of course, losing or dropping points in every game is a tad unrealistic, but if you bet on Arsenal to win every weekend you could be happy even when you’re unhappy. Hear me out. If Arsenal lose or draw, you won’t mind losing your bet because the more pressure heaped on le fraud the better. This is what psychoanalysts call “a winning loss”, and there’s something curiously satisfying about watching Wenger’s narcissism collapsing under the weight of its own incompetence.
On the other hand, if Arsenal win, you’ll at least have the consolation of making a few quid. So there you go, a no-lose tip courtesy of AT.
Personally, I was delighted to see Arsenal slip up again on Saturday at the King Power Stadium. Although they did not play particularly badly, it was all so horribly predictable. Watching tactical dimwit Wenger’s automatons trying to thread eye-of-the-needle passes all afternoon to a 5’6” midget who doesn’t want to be at the club was so sadomasochistic.
Koscielny returned in defence to partner new boy Rob Holding, and because Arsenal kept a clean sheet Wenger told us what a great player he was. I supposed he’d have to be if he’s as good as someone that would have otherwise cost £55m.
Truth is, Holding had it easy. Leicester have been averaging less than a goal a game for about 6 months now. They’ve stopped creating chances since their opponents started sitting back and playing reverse psychology tactics. With no space round the back to hump their - albeit accurate – long ball passes, Claudio Rainieri’s men are becoming increasingly inefficient up front.
But defending Arsenal was very easy. They mopped up their tedious triangular passing patterns all day long, and The Foxes should have had a penalty in the last minute when Bellerin clumsily tripped the sprightly Ahmed Musa.
Five minutes from time, the away fans vociferously chanted “Wenger out”. This is not good news for Wenger. Unless he challenges for the title, every single draw and defeat will be met by jeers and cat calls that will get louder and louder as another season of ennui, misery and failure becomes ever more apparent.
Alexis Sanchez is fed up and losing hope. He’s a nice guy who wants out but is too professional to do anything other than express his displeasure by storming off the pitch like a petulant nephew. Ozil looked the picture of boredom sitting on the bench. His vacant expression was that of player who knows he’s wasting his time playing for a braindead old goat that’s completely lost his marbles.
If Wenger stays, I’m fairly certain both players will be gone this time next year. If Wenger goes, they might stay if a big-name manager gives them a reason to be enthusiastic about playing for Arsenal ever again. But Gazidis is utterly fucking hopeless, and more likely to bring in slop than Klopp.
Anyway, I’m enjoying Wenger’s misery for now, even though it will likely end soon with a run of victories that mean nothing.
Second game in and Man Utd, Man City and Chelsea are already 5 points ahead of Arsenal. One wonders if the Gunners will move above any of them from this point onwards. Arsenal only won 5 games out of 20 against the top 10 PL teams last season. Two of those wins were against Champions Leicester and the Gunners drew twice against Liverpool, so they’re already doing worse than last season against teams expected to finish in the upper half of the table.
I enjoyed watching Wenger squirming like a constipated owl in his post-match press conference. God he hates every second of it – he loathes talking to ‘Dickensian’ English journos after nausing up his day job. How dare they have the temerity to sit opposite him and open their flap, tip toeing round his bursitis ego yet afraid to challenge him in case they’re ejected from their hot seat quicker than a Gazidis wrist wank.
I mean why ask him THOSE questions? Ask him something he can be pseudo-intellectual about. He likes that. He loves to give verbatim ‘Wengerisms’ in pigeon English that Arseblog can masturbate to.
When the barely taxing questions came, he answered them with his usual patronising arrogance. He can’t even bothered to answer questions properly now, just flails around desperately contradicting whatever he said the previous day or week.
But Wenger’s face is always an open book. When you despise people that much, nothing can stop the eye from twitching or the temperamental intake of breath followed by a volley of arbitrary vocal excrement.
Could a flush ever be more busted than Wenger?
Here’s an excerpt from something I wrote nearly five and half years ago on this very blog:
“Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows what I think; and that’s that Arsenal don’t compete for anything – they just give the illusion of competing by buzzing around the top four every season and taking part in a Champions League they clearly have zero chance of winning. That’s not good enough.
We’ve been sold so many promises by Wenger about Arsenal maturing and competing etc. and yet his squad falls short in the same predictable fashion every season. Sure, they competed for the Carling Cup, but who cares about the Carling Cup?
Wenger has asked us to trust him – boundlessly - failed miserably and there needs to be a discernible change in policy because the club is going nowhere at present.
Of course it would be nice to have World Class players brought to Arsenal, but it’s not a necessity and Arsenal can’t afford the ridiculous fees that go with it. Having said that, there is a middle-ground. Arsenal can afford to show a lot more ambition than they currently are, and Wenger’s performance is unacceptable on multiple levels – not just his transfer policy – so protesting dissatisfaction at how he’s doing his job is fine by me.”
Elsewhere, Tottenham showed their resilience again, beating Crystal Palace 1-0 despite playing quite poorly. Man City hammered Stoke 4-1. Surprisingly convincing considering the awful performance at home to Sunderland the week before – surely Guardiola can’t weave miracles this quickly?
With Mourinho in charge, Man Utd almost looked like they did under Ferguson. Dangerous going forward, resilient at the back. Paul Pogba was quite superb. I mentioned on Twitter that his debut reminded me of Patrick Vieira’s first game for Arsenal. The half-fit 6’3” Frenchman strolled around the Old Trafford pitch oozing class with strength, power, balance and sublime touch. The way Mourinho puts teams together is so simple and admirable, even if he is a boil on football’s rectum.
And I’ve always liked Marouane Fellaini. He was damned good at Everton and Mourinho is intelligent enough to resurrect him. Will Man Utd let a goal in from a set piece this season? Not many, if any.
Klopp on the other hand has problems. If he can’t sort out Liverpool’s defence this season they will not make much progress. But unlike Wenger, he’s not an idiot – when he sees something is wrong he operates. Despite backing up Alberto Moreno following his horror show at Arsenal last week, Klopp was ruthless in axing him. Wenger would have bought him a sherbet dib dab.
Despite losing 2-0 to Burnley, Klopp’s Liverpool had an astonishing 80% possession and 26 shots. However, Sadio Mane was unavailable, Daniel Sturridge 50% fit and Danny Ings not ready yet following his lengthy cruciate ligament injury last October.
Conte’s Chelsea beat a well-organised West Ham thanks to another clinical strike from the rejuvenated Diego Costa. As Wenger would say, he’s like a new player - and on this occasion, the deluded old fart would be right.
Note: Arsenal Truth is now on Twitter @TruthArsenal.
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